Anybody who knows me would know that most notebooks that belong to me have a to-do list drawn out on some corner or the other!!! And for those of you who don’t know that, you can take it from me that most of my notebooks, small bits of papers would definitely carry a to-do list!! Now, how many of these tasks get completed, how well they are completed are completely irrelevant to this discussion and not within the scope of this piece of literature, because invariably finishing of last week’s to-do list becomes the first item on my to-do list for the current week!!(Infact, to write this article has been on my to-do for the past ten days I guess!!!)
So....this entire love with to-do lists started a couple of years ago, when I attended an inspiring lecture on time management. The resource person made it sound as though to-do lists are the one stop solution for managing time effectively! That lady made it sound so simple that I decided I am going to apply the idea of making to-do lists to my life! At this juncture, I must mention that both my appa and amma manage their time so fabulously well, and that further inspired me to perfect the art of time management!!
I got myself a nice small notebook and started my first ever to-do list! After a couple of months (of failure, despite good intention and attempt), I sat down to understand why I was failing! I decided that I needed to be reminded constantly about the tasks and hence decided to buy myself a white board, and mount it on the wall. I went to Landmark and got myself a small whiteboard and dedicated it to to-do lists!! I started using the board to make my lists!! After a couple of months, I realised this was not a great idea.. !! Because it was too small!!I used it more to make designs and cartoons than write out to-do lists!!Moreover,the white board needed to be cleaned regularly (at times, cleaning the whiteboard itself was a part of the to-do list!!)
This was when I decided I needed to think of creative tailor made solutions for this to work for me!! I came up with the brilliant (or so it seemed!) idea of classifying to-do lists! I decided I would draw out separate to-do lists for personal work, academics, separate list for exercise and health, separate to-do lists for entertainment and fun! I was so proud of my idea and I immediately got a proper notebook and decided to make separate to-do lists!
Over a period of time, my sorting skills were sharpened and I could sort out my tasks with ease! They beautifully fit into the various genres of to-do lists (the tasks however remained incomplete.....sigh!) I ordered a soft board for my room and started using board pins to pin up my to-do lists (to increase visibility)!
Now, this caught the attention of several people and many of them were very impressed and inspired by this idea (it remained a well kept secret that, this idea of to-do list was not producing desired results!! Tasks never got completed and the task of making these lists by itself was time consuming!!!)
Over the years, I have tried various techniques like, making to-do grids to sort tasks into ‘urgent, not urgent, important, unimportant etc. I have tried to give priority ranks to the tasks!! I could no longer restrict myself to a notebook or any white board –I target any piece of paper I can lay my hands on!!!!At this juncture, I must stop to admit that there have been times, when I have spent time searching for the paper that has my list written (most times I’d never find it, sometimes I would find it in my room, sometimes in my friend’s notebooks, or my amma would have used it to dispose onion peels!) There have been times (very rarely though) when I have sat with two or three genres of to do lists and tried collating it all into one mega to-do list !!!!
Over these two years, I have understood the dynamics of to-do lists! The first 30% of the tasks get completed (not necessarily on time, but they do see completion) , about 50% of tasks move on to the next to-do list and the residual tasks either never get completed , or become unimportant or become a part of somebody else’s to-do list! Sometimes, when I feel like being very true to my conscience, I feel like calling it to-do circles or to-do cycles and not list because it moves in cycles!! Other times, these lists remind of the story that my Patti (animatedly) tells us, about hanuman’s tail growing really long to coil up to match Ravana’s throne height!! (I really can’t help draw similarities you know!!)
One of my good friends raised a genuine question, that me being a pathologically spontaneous creature, why and how I manage to make such lists and organise life? I shot back a grin and admitted that making to do lists seemed more spontaneously possible than doing actual task!! End of the day, at least I am glad I planned and I have the space to hope that sometime soon these tasks will be completed!!
Well, my experiments with these to-do lists still continue! At some level, I enjoy making them though I know they really don’t work!! But having come this far, to figure out the best way to make the lists, I am hopeful that someday I will figure out how to get them to work for me, in terms of time management and task completion!
If anybody out there, has better ideas of to-do lists or knows how to make them work, just leave a note for me! I will get in touch with you, we can meet and I can get gyaan from you! I mean, I’ll add this task to my to-do list, and when it sees the light of the day-we’ll meet ;)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saving vs. Spending????!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!
At a time when the entire world around me is talking about economic recession, meltdown....... when economists and financial analysts are losing hair over the saving and spending dynamics... when everybody is talking about saving carefully...... I want to talk about spending!!! Not about spending carefully.... I want to talk about spending to the fullest of our capacity!!
I am talking about spending .........something that is” MUCH” more valuable than money, I am talking about spending our lives!!!
So many people I know...... invariably end up saving their lives than spending it!!! End up saving moments than spending them!!
Packets and packets of fun, love, thrill, sadness, fear and happiness is saved up for a later day and later time (which may never come!!!) Each day... we all seem so busy cautiously living on yesterday’s saving or saving carefully for a tomorrow (which is an imaginary concept!) that we forget to spend today for what it is worth!!
Small things in life... small pleasures... are all saved up for one big day!! Which, for most of us remains a dream, because we are too busy saving and would never know when our ‘big’ day finally comes!! So, what exactly am I trying to say? What I am saying is simple, as simple as “This life is ours to be spent, not saved!! “
So, how do you go about doing that? Just fill every minute of your life, with the sixty seconds that its worth! Just do everything that you want to do, when you want to do it! Be it as simple as giving yourself a hug, celebrating your small victory... just do it! Don’t wait for another day...... If you feel like popping into your friends place, pulling him out for a drive to the beach... just do it! Don’t wait for the right moment- don’t save up the fun that the wish has in store for you! Every moment in life is a gift beautifully wrapped, waiting to be unwrapped! By trying to save up life, you just leave so many gifts unwrapped- each missing gift spells a missed opportunity!!
If you feel like giving your amma a hug for the wonderful rasam that day, or giving your bro a hug for letting you use his mp3 player- just do it! If you feel like being angry, finish it off! If tears fill your eyes and all you need to do is to just cry!! Do it!! Finish it!! Don’t save it up!! If life seems fearful, finish feeling it so that courage is born there! Don’t save up anything – anger, love, tears, fun, guilt, happiness!!
Don’t wait for somebody’s birthday to get them a card! Don’t save up those sudden surges of love that fills your heart, for another day....spend it to the FULLEST of your capability, that very moment - it may be expressed in the simplest ways like sticking a post-it-note on your appa’s wardrobe saying what an inspiring father he is to you or putting up a post-it on your friend’s door saying what an idiot he is and how much you love for being the best idiot possible!!When you are suddenly reminded of a happy moment spent with your long lost friend, make sometime that day to type in an email telling him that he was remembered!! Do not save it up for a time when you meet that friend of yours! Life invariably has a way of getting so busy that the lesser important things climb up priority ladder than the more important things!!!
Don’t save up a compliment, an inspiring word, or a reassuring and comforting hug for another day! The best day is that very day! The best moment is that very moment! Each moment in your and my life deserves to be spent and not saved for the future........ The most fabulous way to secure happiness for the future is to spend today as happily as possible!!
So, for all those of you out there, who are complaining about not having enough cash to spend, who wallets seem light all the time... switch to spending your lives, in more than one meaningful ways!! Most of life’s beautiful things (like the sunsets, walk along the beach, the breeze against the face,sitting in silence with your friend,spending a day shopping with your amma,teaching your little cousin a nursery rhyme.......!) may not drill into our wallets, but they are so priceless!!
Coming back to the idea of spending lives, let me answer a few FAQ’s!!
1. What happens to my future if I keep spending today?
The BEST thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time!!!And we will always find enough to spend, because, the most fundamental thing about life is that NONE of us can ever finish living it!!! We will always have enough and more to spend!!
2. What happens if we spend our lives and don’t save it?
We make stunning, awesome memories out of ordinary days, for ourselves and for people around us!
In short, we L.I.V.E!!!
We L.I.V.E , a life of purpose!!
I am talking about spending .........something that is” MUCH” more valuable than money, I am talking about spending our lives!!!
So many people I know...... invariably end up saving their lives than spending it!!! End up saving moments than spending them!!
Packets and packets of fun, love, thrill, sadness, fear and happiness is saved up for a later day and later time (which may never come!!!) Each day... we all seem so busy cautiously living on yesterday’s saving or saving carefully for a tomorrow (which is an imaginary concept!) that we forget to spend today for what it is worth!!
Small things in life... small pleasures... are all saved up for one big day!! Which, for most of us remains a dream, because we are too busy saving and would never know when our ‘big’ day finally comes!! So, what exactly am I trying to say? What I am saying is simple, as simple as “This life is ours to be spent, not saved!! “
So, how do you go about doing that? Just fill every minute of your life, with the sixty seconds that its worth! Just do everything that you want to do, when you want to do it! Be it as simple as giving yourself a hug, celebrating your small victory... just do it! Don’t wait for another day...... If you feel like popping into your friends place, pulling him out for a drive to the beach... just do it! Don’t wait for the right moment- don’t save up the fun that the wish has in store for you! Every moment in life is a gift beautifully wrapped, waiting to be unwrapped! By trying to save up life, you just leave so many gifts unwrapped- each missing gift spells a missed opportunity!!
If you feel like giving your amma a hug for the wonderful rasam that day, or giving your bro a hug for letting you use his mp3 player- just do it! If you feel like being angry, finish it off! If tears fill your eyes and all you need to do is to just cry!! Do it!! Finish it!! Don’t save it up!! If life seems fearful, finish feeling it so that courage is born there! Don’t save up anything – anger, love, tears, fun, guilt, happiness!!
Don’t wait for somebody’s birthday to get them a card! Don’t save up those sudden surges of love that fills your heart, for another day....spend it to the FULLEST of your capability, that very moment - it may be expressed in the simplest ways like sticking a post-it-note on your appa’s wardrobe saying what an inspiring father he is to you or putting up a post-it on your friend’s door saying what an idiot he is and how much you love for being the best idiot possible!!When you are suddenly reminded of a happy moment spent with your long lost friend, make sometime that day to type in an email telling him that he was remembered!! Do not save it up for a time when you meet that friend of yours! Life invariably has a way of getting so busy that the lesser important things climb up priority ladder than the more important things!!!
Don’t save up a compliment, an inspiring word, or a reassuring and comforting hug for another day! The best day is that very day! The best moment is that very moment! Each moment in your and my life deserves to be spent and not saved for the future........ The most fabulous way to secure happiness for the future is to spend today as happily as possible!!
So, for all those of you out there, who are complaining about not having enough cash to spend, who wallets seem light all the time... switch to spending your lives, in more than one meaningful ways!! Most of life’s beautiful things (like the sunsets, walk along the beach, the breeze against the face,sitting in silence with your friend,spending a day shopping with your amma,teaching your little cousin a nursery rhyme.......!) may not drill into our wallets, but they are so priceless!!
Coming back to the idea of spending lives, let me answer a few FAQ’s!!
1. What happens to my future if I keep spending today?
The BEST thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time!!!And we will always find enough to spend, because, the most fundamental thing about life is that NONE of us can ever finish living it!!! We will always have enough and more to spend!!
2. What happens if we spend our lives and don’t save it?
We make stunning, awesome memories out of ordinary days, for ourselves and for people around us!
In short, we L.I.V.E!!!
We L.I.V.E , a life of purpose!!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
PPP
The entire game began one (seemingly ordinary) evening when I promised my friend that I’d treat him to pasta- Pasta that I cook!
Me, kitchen and cooking are galaxies apart!!My culinary skills have always been subject to a lot of public jokes and insults! Somehow, that one evening I decided that I am going to disprove my friend by 'making' the best ever pasta! Later that night, when the thrill of the challenge evaporated, it left behind a sensible thought that for somebody who didn’t know that ABC’s of cooking, pasta making was like aspiring to do a PHD!!! However, I took reassurance from the fact that my friend has a fabulously ever-failing memory and I trusted him to forget that I’d made such a promise!! But fate decided otherwise, and he just wouldn’t forget the ‘pasta promise’!!! Every time this issue was brought up, I promised myself that one fine day am going to make the best ever pasta and make this guy feel a pinch of guilt for all the fun he’s making of my culinary skills!
After months of procrastination, I decided that, today is going to be my pasta day and am going to go through this ordeal, no matter what!! I walked to the supermarket close to home to pick pasta and sauces, and to my surprise and mild shock I found that the shop had several varieties of pasta displayed...spaghetti, macaroni, and fettuccine!!!! The supervisor was as clueless about pasta making as I was! I walked back home, determined to come back to the supermarket as a fully informed ‘pasta-consumer’!!
My amma (who has tried all possible creative ways to orient me to the art of cooking and given up on me! ) was surprised when I asked her if she could teach me to make pasta! She said, she has never made pasta all her life! She offered to teach cooking sambhar and rasam instead! Sambhar and rasam aren’t exactly a substitute for pasta! Are they?
I decided to do a review of literature and read up all I could about pastas and pasta making. I went online and pulled lot a whole lot of recipes, checked out pictures of pasta , to understand the shapes, sizes and varieties.( After about an hour of internet research on pasta) It was then clear to me that, the sauces too should be freshly prepared in order to get authentic Italian flavour pasta! (To me, all that it meant was, that it involved another half an hour of cooking!!!!)
Settling down with a novel, reading by myself was certainly a better thing to do on a Saturday morning than try to make pastas! I weeded that thought out of my mind by watching videos on ‘you tube’. I viewed videos of the entire pasta making process!! Meanwhile, I got in touch with an aunty who makes delicious pastas and got her recipe too! My brother, who is like a born-cook gave me a few tips and tricks to making decent pasta! The entire household was watching me in action, surprised by my sudden display of this culinary passion! I collated the results of review of literature, compared recipes and drew out a plan for my pasta party! I called it the PPP (read Pasta Party Plan)!! Armed with all the ‘gyaan’ and the perfectly drawn out PPP, I walked confidently into the store and picked up all the stuff I needed to make pasta!
Next on my agenda in the PPP was to invite people who would get the honour of tasting my pasta! I called over two of my good friends to do the tasting of my first ever culinary experiment with pasta! Now that, all the ingredients were ready and my guests were also ready, all I needed to do was to cook!! My Patti who had been a passive observer to the entire happenings since morning suddenly sprang up to life and said she would help me make pasta! She taught me to cut vegetables (that took so long that, I decided that if I ever have to start cooking on my own, I would definitely gift myself a good vegetable cutter!!!! ) Grating cheese took longer than that!!
(finally!!) this was done and I boiled the macaroni....... I carefully read through the recipe and made the white sauce!! And then....... I busied myself with pasta making! Everything went according to the PPP and in about an hour’s time, I was done with the pasta!!!! A heavenly smell of pasta filled the entire place and the smell of grated cheese melting in the warmth of the pasta added the final touch of excellence to the pasta! The 5 hour long ordeal came to an end!!
My faithful friends turned up on time and I opened the bowl to serve the pasta. (I had chosen a beautiful white ceramic bowl to put the pasta in, just so that it looks like those pictures shown on the internet!!!!) Everything seemed perfect till I put the ladle into the bowl to serve them!! The pasta was acting crazy! It seemed to have gotten together into lumps!! And it looked nothing close to those pictures shown on the internet, and nothing close to how it looked on the ‘you tube’ video! I hid the horror of the discovery with a big smile and served the pasta! The first few minutes seemed like those moments when you anxiously sit in front of the computer, waiting for exam results!
I watched the both of them as they tasted my pasta! They opened their mouth (and I let a sigh of relief that the pasta wasn’t that sticky after all!!) and said that, the pasta was brilliant! The more truthful one among the two admitted that the consistency was bad and that the next time I make it, it has to have less water! The both of them unanimously agreed that the taste however was fantastic and so, the fact that the pasta didn’t look like pasta can be overlooked!!! The happiness that stemmed out of the success of phase one of PPP filled my heart.... as the pasta filled our stomach!
The success of phase one of PPP has motivated me to move on to phase two! I am sitting with the phone in one hand, and a list of numbers in the other! I am in the process of inviting more people to participate in my pasta tasting session! According to my ‘PPP’, in about a week’s time, I should collect valuable feedback about my pastas and perfect the art of pasta making!!Very soon ,I would launch my pasta party and invite that one friend of mine, who has been instrumental in making the PPP happen!!
Coming to think of it, I don’t know if am making great pastas, but I seem to make my amma happy that I have started doing ‘something’ in the name of cooking, I seem to have found a nice reason to have friends dropping in and out of my home!! This ordeal doesn’t as bad as it seemed in the beginning you know! So.... the next time you feel like having ‘good’ pasta, you know where to stop!! Don’t you?! ;-)
Me, kitchen and cooking are galaxies apart!!My culinary skills have always been subject to a lot of public jokes and insults! Somehow, that one evening I decided that I am going to disprove my friend by 'making' the best ever pasta! Later that night, when the thrill of the challenge evaporated, it left behind a sensible thought that for somebody who didn’t know that ABC’s of cooking, pasta making was like aspiring to do a PHD!!! However, I took reassurance from the fact that my friend has a fabulously ever-failing memory and I trusted him to forget that I’d made such a promise!! But fate decided otherwise, and he just wouldn’t forget the ‘pasta promise’!!! Every time this issue was brought up, I promised myself that one fine day am going to make the best ever pasta and make this guy feel a pinch of guilt for all the fun he’s making of my culinary skills!
After months of procrastination, I decided that, today is going to be my pasta day and am going to go through this ordeal, no matter what!! I walked to the supermarket close to home to pick pasta and sauces, and to my surprise and mild shock I found that the shop had several varieties of pasta displayed...spaghetti, macaroni, and fettuccine!!!! The supervisor was as clueless about pasta making as I was! I walked back home, determined to come back to the supermarket as a fully informed ‘pasta-consumer’!!
My amma (who has tried all possible creative ways to orient me to the art of cooking and given up on me! ) was surprised when I asked her if she could teach me to make pasta! She said, she has never made pasta all her life! She offered to teach cooking sambhar and rasam instead! Sambhar and rasam aren’t exactly a substitute for pasta! Are they?
I decided to do a review of literature and read up all I could about pastas and pasta making. I went online and pulled lot a whole lot of recipes, checked out pictures of pasta , to understand the shapes, sizes and varieties.( After about an hour of internet research on pasta) It was then clear to me that, the sauces too should be freshly prepared in order to get authentic Italian flavour pasta! (To me, all that it meant was, that it involved another half an hour of cooking!!!!)
Settling down with a novel, reading by myself was certainly a better thing to do on a Saturday morning than try to make pastas! I weeded that thought out of my mind by watching videos on ‘you tube’. I viewed videos of the entire pasta making process!! Meanwhile, I got in touch with an aunty who makes delicious pastas and got her recipe too! My brother, who is like a born-cook gave me a few tips and tricks to making decent pasta! The entire household was watching me in action, surprised by my sudden display of this culinary passion! I collated the results of review of literature, compared recipes and drew out a plan for my pasta party! I called it the PPP (read Pasta Party Plan)!! Armed with all the ‘gyaan’ and the perfectly drawn out PPP, I walked confidently into the store and picked up all the stuff I needed to make pasta!
Next on my agenda in the PPP was to invite people who would get the honour of tasting my pasta! I called over two of my good friends to do the tasting of my first ever culinary experiment with pasta! Now that, all the ingredients were ready and my guests were also ready, all I needed to do was to cook!! My Patti who had been a passive observer to the entire happenings since morning suddenly sprang up to life and said she would help me make pasta! She taught me to cut vegetables (that took so long that, I decided that if I ever have to start cooking on my own, I would definitely gift myself a good vegetable cutter!!!! ) Grating cheese took longer than that!!
(finally!!) this was done and I boiled the macaroni....... I carefully read through the recipe and made the white sauce!! And then....... I busied myself with pasta making! Everything went according to the PPP and in about an hour’s time, I was done with the pasta!!!! A heavenly smell of pasta filled the entire place and the smell of grated cheese melting in the warmth of the pasta added the final touch of excellence to the pasta! The 5 hour long ordeal came to an end!!
My faithful friends turned up on time and I opened the bowl to serve the pasta. (I had chosen a beautiful white ceramic bowl to put the pasta in, just so that it looks like those pictures shown on the internet!!!!) Everything seemed perfect till I put the ladle into the bowl to serve them!! The pasta was acting crazy! It seemed to have gotten together into lumps!! And it looked nothing close to those pictures shown on the internet, and nothing close to how it looked on the ‘you tube’ video! I hid the horror of the discovery with a big smile and served the pasta! The first few minutes seemed like those moments when you anxiously sit in front of the computer, waiting for exam results!
I watched the both of them as they tasted my pasta! They opened their mouth (and I let a sigh of relief that the pasta wasn’t that sticky after all!!) and said that, the pasta was brilliant! The more truthful one among the two admitted that the consistency was bad and that the next time I make it, it has to have less water! The both of them unanimously agreed that the taste however was fantastic and so, the fact that the pasta didn’t look like pasta can be overlooked!!! The happiness that stemmed out of the success of phase one of PPP filled my heart.... as the pasta filled our stomach!
The success of phase one of PPP has motivated me to move on to phase two! I am sitting with the phone in one hand, and a list of numbers in the other! I am in the process of inviting more people to participate in my pasta tasting session! According to my ‘PPP’, in about a week’s time, I should collect valuable feedback about my pastas and perfect the art of pasta making!!Very soon ,I would launch my pasta party and invite that one friend of mine, who has been instrumental in making the PPP happen!!
Coming to think of it, I don’t know if am making great pastas, but I seem to make my amma happy that I have started doing ‘something’ in the name of cooking, I seem to have found a nice reason to have friends dropping in and out of my home!! This ordeal doesn’t as bad as it seemed in the beginning you know! So.... the next time you feel like having ‘good’ pasta, you know where to stop!! Don’t you?! ;-)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Aham Brahmasmi
The concept “Aham Brahmasmi” has always fascinated me!!!!! A one liner that can explain this would be something like ‘Its a philosophical insight gained through vichara (thinking) or an awareness experienced in a transcendental state of samadhi or union of oneself with god or some higher power’………..Ok.....ok..!! now!!! Don’t give up reading this post...it’s not a discourse!! And I am not getting too technical!! :-)
Aham Brahmasmi is like an expression of a kind of’ I-am-ness’!! Not the kinda ‘I’ that is egoist or proud or haughty..... but the ‘I’ that is so sure of itself... the ‘I’ that speaks humbly about self realisation it its fullness!!!
...these two words contain a world of meaning in them! What is most fascinating is that how something as old as creation itself is applicable to your and my everyday life! Today we talk and hear SO much about ‘I’, ‘myself ‘, ‘individuality’, ‘my own space’ ....... ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ is something that is central to a sense of ‘I’ ness!!!!!
We hear of kids as young as 10 years old(or even younger!) having their own preferences in food, clothes.....we come across young kids demanding a room of their own to ensure personal space..... We hear about people changing their names that their parents gave, just to establish a kind of individuality........we see people piercing and tattooing themselves in unique ways... to individualise themselves...to establish an ‘I’ kind of identity!! Most of these behaviours and ideas may sound ridiculous and unacceptable to most people of earlier generations.... it clearly indicates that as a generation we have slowly transformed into a generation that values ‘I’ ness.. a sense of individuality, it is no longer looked down upon!!
When I look around objectively, I guess at some level, we have to face the truth that we, the present generation is one of confusion, selfishness at some level.......!!( No offense to anybody! I believe that we are very potential and all that jazz... but this side of reality has to faced!!)
We hear elders say that the root cause of the selfishness and confusion is because we are given too much freedom......and individuality is appreciated and taught as a value, unlike their generation!! I wish to contradict here and raise a point that, it’s not the freedom or the importance given to individuality that’s the culprit creating a generation of selfish, confused individuals who are SO unsure as an entire generation. It’s the lack of understanding of the self that is to be blamed....... it is the lack of realisation of the self.... of the inner space...of the personal space....! There is a very thin line of difference between the ‘I’ ness becoming a selfish , self centered one or it being one that is fully aware of itself...... Rather than blaming the freedom and individuality that is encouraged , we might as well move towards refining the sense of ‘I’ness...... How and when does that happen?
If and When, as an individual I am able to be fully aware of myself, know my needs wants desires well, when I establish a kind of peace with myself... I would experience a communion with a kind of higher force, which some call God, some call Energy or soul or any other name! I can feel a sense of goodness within me,that religious people may want to call god! I experience a state where I am no different from God or the Goodness around me! In short, I reach a state where I can say ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ with a certain humility and conviction!! Well, like most solutions to problems...this too is simple and works well only under IDEAL conditions!!Practically...... to reach such a state of mind is no joke!! But to move towards such a state of mind itself may be a soul satisfying journey......... and if on the way.......somewhere..... if we are able to get a glimpse of the communion, of the ‘I’ in ourself, the state of mind that says ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ – that should be rewarding enough!!
Aham Brahmasmi is like an expression of a kind of’ I-am-ness’!! Not the kinda ‘I’ that is egoist or proud or haughty..... but the ‘I’ that is so sure of itself... the ‘I’ that speaks humbly about self realisation it its fullness!!!
...these two words contain a world of meaning in them! What is most fascinating is that how something as old as creation itself is applicable to your and my everyday life! Today we talk and hear SO much about ‘I’, ‘myself ‘, ‘individuality’, ‘my own space’ ....... ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ is something that is central to a sense of ‘I’ ness!!!!!
We hear of kids as young as 10 years old(or even younger!) having their own preferences in food, clothes.....we come across young kids demanding a room of their own to ensure personal space..... We hear about people changing their names that their parents gave, just to establish a kind of individuality........we see people piercing and tattooing themselves in unique ways... to individualise themselves...to establish an ‘I’ kind of identity!! Most of these behaviours and ideas may sound ridiculous and unacceptable to most people of earlier generations.... it clearly indicates that as a generation we have slowly transformed into a generation that values ‘I’ ness.. a sense of individuality, it is no longer looked down upon!!
When I look around objectively, I guess at some level, we have to face the truth that we, the present generation is one of confusion, selfishness at some level.......!!( No offense to anybody! I believe that we are very potential and all that jazz... but this side of reality has to faced!!)
We hear elders say that the root cause of the selfishness and confusion is because we are given too much freedom......and individuality is appreciated and taught as a value, unlike their generation!! I wish to contradict here and raise a point that, it’s not the freedom or the importance given to individuality that’s the culprit creating a generation of selfish, confused individuals who are SO unsure as an entire generation. It’s the lack of understanding of the self that is to be blamed....... it is the lack of realisation of the self.... of the inner space...of the personal space....! There is a very thin line of difference between the ‘I’ ness becoming a selfish , self centered one or it being one that is fully aware of itself...... Rather than blaming the freedom and individuality that is encouraged , we might as well move towards refining the sense of ‘I’ness...... How and when does that happen?
If and When, as an individual I am able to be fully aware of myself, know my needs wants desires well, when I establish a kind of peace with myself... I would experience a communion with a kind of higher force, which some call God, some call Energy or soul or any other name! I can feel a sense of goodness within me,that religious people may want to call god! I experience a state where I am no different from God or the Goodness around me! In short, I reach a state where I can say ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ with a certain humility and conviction!! Well, like most solutions to problems...this too is simple and works well only under IDEAL conditions!!Practically...... to reach such a state of mind is no joke!! But to move towards such a state of mind itself may be a soul satisfying journey......... and if on the way.......somewhere..... if we are able to get a glimpse of the communion, of the ‘I’ in ourself, the state of mind that says ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ – that should be rewarding enough!!
Passion for exercise:part2
RAINS!!! the rains came slashing down and my WWW program faced its first major hurdle!!Monday morning, the alarm woke me up!! A sleepy smile crossed my face the moment I heard the rain!! The next instant..the smile was swept away by the realisation that I CANT POSSIBLY GO WALKING WHEN ITS RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I consoled myself thinking I d walk in the evening and snoozed back to sleep.... feeling like heaven to be able to snuggle into my bedsheets and get some more sleep!!
It seemed like the sky too was a co-conspirator to make me round!! It just wouldn't stop pouring!!It was over a week now and the rains wouldn't stop!!! That quiet Saturday afternoon, I was sitting by the window watching the rain wishing it would all stop and my WWW program will gather momentum again!!
My amma was on the phone.. talking to her friend, about how the rain is inspiring her to make hot samosas( fried food!! oh! not again!) ! I was amazed at her ability to make conversations about the rainy season of all things....(since I had nothing productive to do, I was listening to her chatting away to glory) she was busy exchanging notes with her friend on how to dry clothes when its raining outside, on how to protect all of us from malaria.....!!!!
I was bored.. decided to pick a book to read and when I just left the room I overheard my amma complaining to her friend about how she found it so difficult to walk down our flooded roads, and how she practically swam her way home!!! That ONE sentence changed my lifestyle for the next few months!! I decided to go swimming!!!!
I immediately started working on this idea of swimming!! I went online, figured out swimming academies that had indoor pools and good coaches!!I waded my way through the stagnant waters and got myself a swim suit and a good pair of goggles! in all excitement, I jumped into the pool..and after 4 weeks of coaching..I was finally SWIMMING!!I swam like a fish (or so i thought!!) Swimming was fun...! life seemed perfect and I was very happy that very soon I am gonna shed all the extra fat!!
At this point, yet another disaster hit my weight losing spree!!!
My amma has this habit of spending her afternoon reading magazines and that habit of hers killed the happiness and contentment that swimming gave me!! She came across in one of the health magazines that exposure to chlorine in harmful to the health and that put a full stop to my swimming pursuit!!
(To stop me from sulking about!!)My amma promised to find me a good yoga teacher!! She solemnly spoke at length about how yoga calms mind and body!!! I wasn’t given much of a choice and I agreed, though I was convinced that the magazine guys just added some information to fill space and never really meant it!! (and they too were conspiring to make me round!!)
Like a butterfly moving from one place to another in search of honey, I kept jumping from one yoga centre to another, trying to master the art of yoga! Each of them had a different style of teaching and were doing their best to make me learn the art! I couldn’t really develop a liking for yoga( No offence to anybody practicing this art! Infact I look up to you guys!) because it was all too quiet a process for somebody like me!!I mean, they expected me to open my mouth only to breathe!!! I was made to sit quietly in a place for too long and it all seemed like a punishment! I wanted to do something that had music, rhythm and that which was more fun!! And that which didn’t expect me to be quiet for too long!!
And I switched to aerobics!! If I thought that finding right people to teach me aerobics was the biggest problem, I was mistaken because doing aerobics by itself seemed a bigger problem! It all seemed too fast for me and I just couldn’t stand the body pains that it gave me!
From aerobics I jumped to playing badminton and finding the playing partner became quite a task!!Over the next six months, I gave gymming a shot and realised exercising indoors is not my cup of tea! The loud music, the smell of sweat along with the room freshener, the long ques for the treadmill made the gymming a not-so-great idea!!
Life’s come a complete circle .... its almost a year now and cleaning up the cupboard (that had the photo album that started the weight losing spree ) is still a part of my to-do list! A pair of walking shoes, a bag containing swim suit and goggles, sets of track suits and t-shirts, bills from gym, yoga centre pamphlets is all lying in the cupboard adding to the mess! Sitting in front of the cupboard , looking at the mess and at all the ‘exercise equipments and accessories ‘ , I stopped for a moment to reflect on the happenings of the past one year! I was wondering how to stop this stupid feeling about being round!
I consoled myself thinking I d walk in the evening and snoozed back to sleep.... feeling like heaven to be able to snuggle into my bedsheets and get some more sleep!!
It seemed like the sky too was a co-conspirator to make me round!! It just wouldn't stop pouring!!It was over a week now and the rains wouldn't stop!!! That quiet Saturday afternoon, I was sitting by the window watching the rain wishing it would all stop and my WWW program will gather momentum again!!
My amma was on the phone.. talking to her friend, about how the rain is inspiring her to make hot samosas( fried food!! oh! not again!) ! I was amazed at her ability to make conversations about the rainy season of all things....(since I had nothing productive to do, I was listening to her chatting away to glory) she was busy exchanging notes with her friend on how to dry clothes when its raining outside, on how to protect all of us from malaria.....!!!!
I was bored.. decided to pick a book to read and when I just left the room I overheard my amma complaining to her friend about how she found it so difficult to walk down our flooded roads, and how she practically swam her way home!!! That ONE sentence changed my lifestyle for the next few months!! I decided to go swimming!!!!
I immediately started working on this idea of swimming!! I went online, figured out swimming academies that had indoor pools and good coaches!!I waded my way through the stagnant waters and got myself a swim suit and a good pair of goggles! in all excitement, I jumped into the pool..and after 4 weeks of coaching..I was finally SWIMMING!!I swam like a fish (or so i thought!!) Swimming was fun...! life seemed perfect and I was very happy that very soon I am gonna shed all the extra fat!!
At this point, yet another disaster hit my weight losing spree!!!
My amma has this habit of spending her afternoon reading magazines and that habit of hers killed the happiness and contentment that swimming gave me!! She came across in one of the health magazines that exposure to chlorine in harmful to the health and that put a full stop to my swimming pursuit!!
(To stop me from sulking about!!)My amma promised to find me a good yoga teacher!! She solemnly spoke at length about how yoga calms mind and body!!! I wasn’t given much of a choice and I agreed, though I was convinced that the magazine guys just added some information to fill space and never really meant it!! (and they too were conspiring to make me round!!)
Like a butterfly moving from one place to another in search of honey, I kept jumping from one yoga centre to another, trying to master the art of yoga! Each of them had a different style of teaching and were doing their best to make me learn the art! I couldn’t really develop a liking for yoga( No offence to anybody practicing this art! Infact I look up to you guys!) because it was all too quiet a process for somebody like me!!I mean, they expected me to open my mouth only to breathe!!! I was made to sit quietly in a place for too long and it all seemed like a punishment! I wanted to do something that had music, rhythm and that which was more fun!! And that which didn’t expect me to be quiet for too long!!
And I switched to aerobics!! If I thought that finding right people to teach me aerobics was the biggest problem, I was mistaken because doing aerobics by itself seemed a bigger problem! It all seemed too fast for me and I just couldn’t stand the body pains that it gave me!
From aerobics I jumped to playing badminton and finding the playing partner became quite a task!!Over the next six months, I gave gymming a shot and realised exercising indoors is not my cup of tea! The loud music, the smell of sweat along with the room freshener, the long ques for the treadmill made the gymming a not-so-great idea!!
Life’s come a complete circle .... its almost a year now and cleaning up the cupboard (that had the photo album that started the weight losing spree ) is still a part of my to-do list! A pair of walking shoes, a bag containing swim suit and goggles, sets of track suits and t-shirts, bills from gym, yoga centre pamphlets is all lying in the cupboard adding to the mess! Sitting in front of the cupboard , looking at the mess and at all the ‘exercise equipments and accessories ‘ , I stopped for a moment to reflect on the happenings of the past one year! I was wondering how to stop this stupid feeling about being round!
In that one moment, I discovered the SIMPLEST way to stop feeling bad about being round...... is to start LOVING the fact that am round!!! That’ all that’s there to it!! Having realised this, it seemed like about ten kilos had been lifted off my chest!!!!(and i secretly wish and genuinely believe that someday ten kilo’s would be lifted off my body too!!!)
I smiled at myself in the mirror pinching my round, ‘healthy’ cheeks!! After many months, I tasted chocolate..... Slowly unwrapped the foil.. .put bits of dairy milk in my mouth and enjoyed the taste and smell of chocolate.....
The happiness, the love for myself no matter how I am round or not, along with the taste of chocolate made me smile to myself!! It felt so good to be alive....SO good that being round didn’t really matter!! I felt enlightened that I have figured out the BEST way to stop feeling round!!In that moment of enlightenment and happiness I gave up the craze I had, to stop feeling round.... !!
Even now there are days, when I take a brisk walk...... Days when I swim...... days when I exercise... days I don’t...... but it is only now that I have found the true passion for exercise...... where am not driven by the craze to stop feeling round...... but driven by the very love for exercising!!! :-)
I smiled at myself in the mirror pinching my round, ‘healthy’ cheeks!! After many months, I tasted chocolate..... Slowly unwrapped the foil.. .put bits of dairy milk in my mouth and enjoyed the taste and smell of chocolate.....
The happiness, the love for myself no matter how I am round or not, along with the taste of chocolate made me smile to myself!! It felt so good to be alive....SO good that being round didn’t really matter!! I felt enlightened that I have figured out the BEST way to stop feeling round!!In that moment of enlightenment and happiness I gave up the craze I had, to stop feeling round.... !!
Even now there are days, when I take a brisk walk...... Days when I swim...... days when I exercise... days I don’t...... but it is only now that I have found the true passion for exercise...... where am not driven by the craze to stop feeling round...... but driven by the very love for exercising!!! :-)
So.........Being a snowball doesn’t really matter anymore!! As long as I know am a happy snowball!!!! :-)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Passion for Exercise:Part1
One (fatefull!!) saturday morning.. I decided to clean up my cupboard ( which has been on my to-do list for over a year now!!) and guess what i found ? An album with pictures of me at school!! A wide grin on my face that was born out of the discovery of the album turned into a sad look........and I ran to the closest mirror!!Looking into the mirror I realised.. i look healthier than a year back!! (ahEM!! that's a pleasant and nice way of saying.. I ve gracefully added a few kilos to my body mass and generous number of inches to my waist...)
I must admit at this point that, I haven really been the slim kind!! but I wasn't round either!! :-(
This enlightenement that I look 'healthier' than earlier, explanied a lot of phenomena like why a lot of clothes no longer see the light of the day!! and why it took me longer to dress up for an outing (because finding clothese that were magnanimous enough to fit my new size was a problem!!)
Having established that I am 'rounder' than before, I found a strong conviction to become less rounder ( enough to be able to slip into my oldclothes again!)
Having made this promise to myself, I decided that am gonna do all I can to lose weight!.....But! Good lord! Food started seeming more tasteful than before.....!! My amma learnt new recipes and was cooking samosas and kachoris to express her passion for cooking!! Chocolates and icecreams seemed more fun!! More and more friends seemed to be celebrating birthday parties... ( Everybody seemed to be crazy about blackforest cakes that seemed to add two inches to my waist line the moment I set my eyes on them!)..... pizza joints seemed to bring out tastier varities of pizzas.......sigh..... It seemed like the entire world conspired to make me round.. and round.. and round!!
This was the only thing that I had to talk about.. the moment somebody asked what's up..........In an attempt to make me feel good..and reassure me that I look jus fine... my friend called me a cute snow ball! the frenzied brain of mine registered only the snow ball bit of it and the only thing that came to me mind was that snow balls are ROUND!!!! and in that one moment.. a passion for exercise was born!!! ( cause I can never diet! even if i weigh a 100 kilos)
I decided that am gonna exercise to shed all my extra weight!! Now, don throw me into the category of people who exercise thinking that they wanna become size zero(in other words look starved and anaemic!) I just wanted to stop FEELING round!! and have lesser weight to carry around... and of course yeah.. fit into my old clothes again!
After (an exhaustive!) mini survey of best possible ways to lose weight... Idecided that walking is gonna be the stratergy I wanna adopt!! I invested on a good pair of walking shoes , a set of tracks and t-shirts( as i couldn't fit into my old ones.. sob.. sob...!!) and an alarm clock (to wake me up every morning)!! Armed with these in hand.. I implemented by WWW program.. (WWW expands as 'W'alk your 'W'ay to healthy 'W'eight). I started walking!
The first one week was wonderful!! I religiously walked everyday for an hour.....! At the end of one week, I realised that I am not a 'walking' kinda person! It seemed boring.. and more importantly keeping quiet for an entire hour was a challenge!! and then I had an idea!!
Since talking is something I love doing, and since talking also would burn calories, I decided that am gonna find myself a talking partner... er.. I mean a walkin partner!!! Somebody who would walk with me.. and also talk so that the exercise doesn't get boring!
I started lecturing about benefits of walking to my social circle (parents and friends mostly!!) and finally I found myself company!! ( I still have my own doubts that the conclusive decision to come walking with me every morning was more a stratergy that my friend adoped to save the world from my intense lectures about benefits of walking !!)
The next week was better than the previous one!! I had company!! (and I think I burnt more calories talking than walking!) I was on cloud nine that finally I was exercising and everything was going fine... little did I know.. that there was a huge obstacle that was waiting for me the following week... that would put a full stop to my 'Program WWW'!!!!
(to be continued....)
H-a-P-P-y!!!!!!
Ok... So now that I have realised my dream of creating a blog for myself... I realise I need to put myself through the slight ordeal of creating posts to fill my blog...!! Well.... My patti keeps saying one must always begin anythin new on a happy note!!! So.. decided that am gonna write about happiness...
Happiness to me is somethin I am extremely passionate about... !! I strongly beleive that happiness.. is the strongest and most potent of emtions, next to love....
What is happiness? is it all about friends ? boy friends? girl friends ? bars of chocolate ? appetising food ? movies ? fun ? classrooms without teachers ? limitless free hours on telephone? ah.. quite tough to define isn't it ? Sometimes, the bell that rings at the end of a boring lecture seems to define all the happiness in the world for usTo some people.. simple things like a steaming cup of coffee, surprise rains, meeting up an old friend, a refreshing glass of juice after a long run can mean a lot of happiness... To others... it takes an india's win against australia... or a long vacation to make them happy...!! But wait.. is this the happiness I am talking about ?
Well.. not really.. Ithink these are more like 'anchors to happiness'...... things that we hold on to, to feel the emotion that we label "happy!" To me, these seem like "programmed happiness"......... like as if we are all programmed that this must give happiness types! As if, emotions are governed by formulae and programming! So, if these anchors aren't around.. then where would we find the happiness?
When i say happy,what I am talking about is the happiness.. true genuine happiness.. that comes out of the very existence.. the joy of existence kinda happiness...
The happiness that doesn't have reason... that which comes out of simple pure act of existing.. of breathing... of being alive..
To be able to connect to that kind of happiness defines bliss.. its like connecting to your roots.. to something in you that 's so deep within! To some fundamental material that all of us are made up of!
The kinda happiness that doesn't rise out of some reason! The kinda happiness that makes you smile to yourself without any reason at all... The kinda happiness that makes you feel at the center of your universe.............
So, for those of you out there... giving a very knowing smile... who have known this kinda happiness.. rock on!! Keep this hapiness burning and alive...!!
and for those of you to whom , what am talking sounds like greek and latin...... buck up! join the club.. feel the happiness... and for those of you who are genuienly mocking at somebody taking time off to write about happiness........ all I have to say is that, an ignorant mind doesn't deserve to be disturbed!!! :-)
Lets live lives independent of the different anchors that we hold on to!!... lets get a glimpse of genuine happiness..!!!! Trust me.... Try this.. and your life would never be the same EVER again!!!
Genesis of the blog agni....
Agni......meaning fire.... which to me is "p-a-s-s-i-o-n"...
that explains the genesis of this blog...passion.. pure passion....period!
(ah! Let me clarify before your imagination turns wild!!!) The passion to express myself...
A miniscule attempt to create a world of my own.. far away from the mundaness and mediocracy that we all revel in...for most of our everyday lives..
A passion to create a creative, expressive world of my own... where all my passions take its most truthfull form... and is expressed through words(as limited as my vocabulary may be!!!)...
Disclaimer:
Well.... frankly I am a honest person and am no great writer..!!!I certainly don't exactly know how blogs generally work....!! This is for me.. a learning process... This blog is more of an amateur's attempt to blog types... my literary skills (presently revelling in mediocracy!!) need to be sharpened and this blogging should hopefully faciliate that process!! This simply means, that I'd Love to hear from you guys!!!
On that note,
Presenting before you...
Agni...
The fire.. The blazing spirit , soul and passion within...
that explains the genesis of this blog...passion.. pure passion....period!
(ah! Let me clarify before your imagination turns wild!!!) The passion to express myself...
A miniscule attempt to create a world of my own.. far away from the mundaness and mediocracy that we all revel in...for most of our everyday lives..
A passion to create a creative, expressive world of my own... where all my passions take its most truthfull form... and is expressed through words(as limited as my vocabulary may be!!!)...
Disclaimer:
Well.... frankly I am a honest person and am no great writer..!!!I certainly don't exactly know how blogs generally work....!! This is for me.. a learning process... This blog is more of an amateur's attempt to blog types... my literary skills (presently revelling in mediocracy!!) need to be sharpened and this blogging should hopefully faciliate that process!! This simply means, that I'd Love to hear from you guys!!!
On that note,
Presenting before you...
Agni...
The fire.. The blazing spirit , soul and passion within...
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