“To be or not to be”

“To be or not to be”
The (overdone!!) clichéd famous words of the good old Shakespeare!! It may be overdone or cliché, but at some level – it defines life in a nutshell. It defines the framework within which our lives work; It breaks boundaries and opens up our lives!! It truly does! I guess we spell like as L-I-F-E simply because it more convenient to spell, as compared to “Art-of-choice-making”!!! But, life deserves to be read as “art of choice making” because that’s all life is about!!
Anybody who is happy has a choice- to be or not to be happy! A teacher who punishes a student to death has a choice- to be or not to be heartless and insensible! I have a choice- to write or not to write this blog post now!!!!!!! Simply...anything and everything.... our friends, our relationships, the food we eat, the moods we exhibit, the phones we own, the tears we shed are all a matter of choice.
Well, what happens if we see everything as a choice? It jus creates a perspective shift where you just stop playing the blame-game that corrodes your being! If all situations are mere choices and you are here to just make your own choices then life is as simple as painting a colourful picture the way you want to paint it! You can decide what colours you want and how you want them on your canvas! If some things do go wrong as they will, then the choice is still yours to let it make or break you! So, it’s a win-win situation where nobody-you, people around you or your life situations are to be blamed!!
This is quite a fun thing to do... Assuming responsibility for your own life... being all dramatic and asking yourself at all points in time..... “To be or not to be”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The moment life choices are made out of love driven by passion and not out of fear or compulsion your life can’t help but explode to success!!!!
Well, having come this far I am presented with a choice - to conclude or not to conclude this blog post....!! I have chosen to conclude this post here..... and I will do just that(despite not being successful at finding a right concluding statement for this post) !!!!!!!!!!!

Social networking and me!!!!!!

The unhealthy craze and addiction to social networking sites is something that has always amused me. I do not exactly remember when this frenzy of ‘orkut-ting’ caught up with everybody! But, I have vivid memories of being at the receiving end of “Which-world-are-you-from” looks when I said I don’t have an orkut account. If I happened to confess that such things do not excite me and I am not ‘not orkutting’ due to parental pressure, people would stare at me like I were practicing and advocating strict celibacy!!! When I meet old friends or end up meeting cousins at a wedding, they ask me for my virtual id as if I cease to exist in front of them there!

I have a friend of mine, who genuinely feels terrible that he is unable to keep in touch with me, because I am not on orkut or facebook! (No!No! We do not live in different cities or countries!! We live ten minutes away from each other!! Just about the same time it takes to boot the computer, connect to the internet and open the world of orkut)

At a time when I was still unfamiliar about the social networking parlance, I overheard my friends talking about communities with a rare kind of interest and zeal. I was overwhelmed at the thought that these guys are discussing something sociological about communities and community development – that happiness didn’t last too long because in a matter of few seconds of my expression of happiness, everybody burst out laughing and eventually explained to me the existence of virtual communities and how involving they are!

For the past 4 years I have been fighting pressure to find my space in the air- to create a virtual existence for myself. If you ask me why, I would say......... maybe it comes out of a generic fear of adding one more dimension to my (already confused) identity and image of self!( Well, that’s something that sounds intellectual enough and people don’t bother to prod further!)

But if you do, then I might just admit that I do not have the patience to go through the process of creating it, reading messages, replying to them , hoping and praying that your id’s not hacked by some creepy guy who decided to crush on you and so it goes........!! If you prod me further, I may agree that time is what we make and not having patience is not strong enough a reason....
No! No! This absistence from social networking doesn’t rise from me being happy by myself. In fact, I am a people’s person and passionately believe in making and keeping friends for a lifetime!! (Any of my friends who at some point or the other been at the receiving end of my lectures about ‘keeping in touch’ would vouch for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

Well, heart of hearts I guess this abstinence from social networking sites comes out of my true love for people, and all your true alive selves! Any day I would rather see a beautiful smile curving from a warm heart than the smiley I see on the computer screen! Any day I would rather hear a wonderful voice that spells happiness, strength and cheer rather than see a few letters arranging themselves on screen conveying a message! I would rather see a pair of eyes becoming wide in excitement and a beautiful excited smile than seeing a bunch of exclamations that my brain registers as a sign of excitement!! May sound archaic but I would rather hear and see people around me living their lives, living their emotions, expressing their most extraordinary selves rather than see them through the messages or profiles hanging in the air!!!!!! After all, watching the IPL live is not the same as reading about it the next morning in the paper!! Watching a movie is just not the same as reading a review!

Social networking sites to me, seems like it reduces the thrill and excitement of an alive life to a mad scramble of letters (With a lot of typos because people are in a hurry to reply to a whole lot of other messages!!!!!!!!) To all you social networking maniacs- I do buy your arguments like this saves time and shrinks the world – but is that what we want? We save time by social networking to do what? To do more social networking?

Disclaimer Note:This is not some kind of text that is trying to convert you from a theist( a believer in social networking) to an atheist!!

Definitely not!! All I want to do is to gently remind all you networking kings and queens that there is a life beyond the social networking. There may be your grandmother who would love to take a walk with you and who would smile a smile that is hundred times brighter than the smiley on screen if you do take her for a walk! Try this! There is a life beyond social networking.....live that for a change......!!!!!!! In exchange I promise to get myself an identity in virtual space! From an atheist am moving to being an agnostic – going to find out of in truth there is a sense of keeping in touch through social networking... Let’s taste a bit of each other’s world... What say? After all...variety is the spice of life...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Face book...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here I come.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A disturbing irony...........

I picked up the newspaper early this morning and I did not feel like reading beyond the first page. The first two articles on the first page on The Hindu newspaper made me stop, to reflect on our system of democracy and justice. I can assure you, I am not one among those pessimists who believe that this country is good for nothing, neither am the kind who doesn’t believe in democracy. But, for a few minutes, I couldn’t help wondering if our ideals of democracy and justice are of any relevance at all!!
The front page today represented the extremes of the continuum of the system of democracy and reward, punishment systems that our country has. On the left is an article carrying news about Kasab, the lone surviving gunman in the Mumbai terror attacks and on the right is a news item about the young girl Shanno who died( who was killed rather!!) following corporal punishment at municipal school. At the face of it maybe these two news items do not have anything in common. But, looking deeper into both these issues, it represents an irony! A disturbing irony! To me, it seems to reflect a weak reward-punishment system!!! A terrorist who has been seen with the gun in his hands is being 'rewarded' the luxury of having trials, having lawyers to represent him(at the cost of Indian taxpayer’s money!!) and here is this girl who was 'punished' on the spot for a “crime” of not reciting alphabets properly. Why is it that time and again we wait for incidents like this to happen to wake up to the real need to strengthen fundamentals in the society. In what way can the teacher justify this act in a society that is giving somebody like kasab, a chance to justify his wrong doing? How can the teacher decide to punish in such a manner without imagining consequences? Is it lack of awareness about the need to abolish corporal punishments? Is it negligence? Display of power? Or is the blame going to be thrown again on lack of stringent laws or lack of implementation of laws?
At one end we have debates and discussions about free and fair trial and just punishment being given to the terrorist Kasab who is responsible for killing so many lives in the Mumbai terror attacks and on the other end we have this little girl who was punished to death for not reciting her alphabets properly!! To call this ironic seems an understatement! To me, this irony seems to raise a lot of thoughts like for instance, does our country work in such a manner that bigger the crimes you commit, the safer you are (because it takes a long time for you to be tried and presented to the court)? If this is the punishment for the child who has not learnt her alphabets, in other words not done her duty as a student, then what is the punishment and who will punish all those people out there whose negligence and lack of commitment has lead to such crimes ranging from corporal punishment to terrorism?

the "F" theory...

I genuinely believe all our lives are designed to work in a certain manner that revolves around fundamentals that are more or less the same for all of us! This may not be a great line to start a blog post, but it certainly is great line to start off a thinking process. I was thinking about this and I hit upon a very interesting observation which in future will be referred to as the

“F-theory”

revolving around two “F-factors”. In fact, the more I dwell in this the more I am convinced that this “F-factor” is a very fundamental and core for all our lives, purposes and action.
So, what exactly is the first “f” factor??!!
It is F.e.A.R!!

If we carefully study a lot of our actions (and inactions!!), a lot of happening around us or other people’s actions, it can be seen that it boils down to a certain fear. Starting from small issues like a lie, which is a fear to expose the truth to a suicide, which is nothing but a fear to live – fear seems a pivotal force in all our lives.
For all the brave hearts out there who are shaking their heads denying any trace of fear in their lives, Let me ask you, do you sing aloud every time you feel like it? Have you ever known what it is to dance like nobody is watching you? Have you ever walked up to the store and got yourself those pair of jeans that you really love, despite all your friends hating it? Gotcha!!
What holds you back?! Isn’t it the factor that takes control of those decisions? Fear of criticism, fear of being hurt or ridiculed, fear of standing out of the crowd, fear of failure, of being laughed at!! Remember all those small and big things that you have always wanted to do, but never got around to doing it? The only that that can or will stop you is the “f” factor!! Every such a thing, that remains a dream arises from this “f” factor- the fear of not wanting to stretch beyond the comfort zone that we belong to or the fear of doing something out of the ordinary!
Well how do we fight this fear? It is at this point that I must introduce the second “f” of the “f” theory, that is

“Facing the fear”!!

As simple as it sounds, jut face your fears! Start simple, but start strong! Does a roller coaster ride put the fear of god into you? Simply face it! This weekend, pack your bags, tag along a few friends and drive to a theme park and just do it- face your roller coaster ride!
Has your class eight math teacher been your biggest fear factor in your life then? (and is that why you hate math till today??!!) Well, blindly execute the second part of the “f” theory: just face your fear! Choose a nice day and drop in to your teacher’s place to spend an hour or two with her, thanking her for all that she has been to you( You have an added advantage that teachers have a way of being nice to alumni!! ;)!! ) face your fear (fearlessly)!
Does speaking on stage set the fear engine in you rolling? Grab the next opportunity to do public speaking (even if it is a boring vote of thanks at the end of a long lecture) and do your best: face your fears!
I bet on all that I own most of the times, at the end of the facing your fear session, you will catch yourself saying “it wasn’t that bad you know!!” because nothing truly is that bad! So, get started on your trip of facing fears!
Let me let you into a secret that this blog is my attempt to face my fear that I can’t do creative writing for nuts! Well, I am facing my fear and am enjoying doing it, believing that it’s not that bad after all!! :D
So, its time you too faced your fears! Let no fear ever hold you back! After all,
No man has ever lost anything by stretching his reins to their fullest possible length!!

Anyone game for ‘Fancy dress’?

Anyone game for ‘Fancy dress’ ? :)

When you sit chatting with a group of friends, you really can never say who talks what and suddenly you find yourselves talking about the most unexpected things! That’s exactly how today, out of the blue, I found myself talking with my friends about ‘fancy dress competitions’!! And let me tell you, I am going crazy about ‘fancy dress’ all over again!! I was looking into my primary school photos, fished out my first few fancy dress photos!!I was yearning to do fancy dressing again!! I was trying to understand what is it about fancy dress that is driving me nuts all over again!!May be because fancy dress seems to be a dazzling realisation of my love for colours and variety!! Or maybe it’s the idea of being something that you are not, is the best thing about fancy dress!! I guess, it’s about your dream unfolding in front of your own eyes- where you can be all that you want to be….
As I was lying down, thinking about this whole game of fancy dressing and the thrill of being what you want to be, for however long you want to be, it struck to me that the entire world is a stage, set for a HUGE fancy dress parade!! Every day, we all wear so many different emotions and are so many different things that we want to be!! Sometimes, we wear the fancy dress of an angel and are really nice and warm to another person, sometime we get all dirty and ugly and deliver lines filled with hatred and anger, at times, we take up the character of a teacher and at times a father, friend, doctor……… the list is endless!! My! This opens like a WORLD of possibilities for us, to fancy dress ourselves!! After all, It’s us who decides what we want to wear that day- whether it is the longest gown of happiness, with frills of excitement, glittering with beads of laughter or if it’s going to be a dull shade of gloom and unhappiness, sewn with frustrations that we want to sport each day, each hour and minute of this big fancy dress game!!
Every day, there is this one moment of plain-ness and freshness – the moment we wake up! When the day is ours for the taking! For us to decide what to wear that day! For us to decide what to be that day!! This idea of this big fancy dress game is probably the most exciting line of thought that has struck me in quite some time now! Its making me and my world look new, renewed, fun and exciting!!
The BEST thing about this fancy dress game is that it happens every day!! :) !! Nobody wins !! nobody loses!! It’s about how well, how creative each of us wants to be this day, this moment!! Having said this, I m off now to explore my possibilities of various wonderful colours and moods I can sport…. To figure out ways to be all that I want to be!! You are most welcome, to join in this ‘big fun fancy dress parade’ that is normally spelt L-I-F-E!!
Cheers!

B.O.R.E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I find boredom very interesting!!

Every time I come across individuals who keep complaining that they are bored, I get very curious!! (They make me wonder, if they ever get bored of being bored!!) Trust me…… I have come across people who seem to find their own lives boring!! Since these people occupy my mind space when it starts showing signs of boredom, I find boredom interesting!!
Out of my personal experience, I can vouch that it is during those periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the activities surrounding them, most fascinating and wild thoughts cross the mind!! Most fantasies and ingenious ideas are invariably products of boredom!! Isn’t it during those boring study holidays, that we get wonderful ideas to spend holidays? Isn’t it in between those boring lectures that we get ideas for surprise birthday parties!!
I am really passionate about my moments of boredom, because more or less, a whole lot of fabulous, fun ideas of mine are born on those fiercely bored, frustrated days-when my entire life seems so monotonous that I want to break free!! I love those bouts of boredom- that to me is like the silence between two waves!! It is a very beautiful space, of inactivity, of pure existence for the sake of existence, of effortless living!! That’s probably why I find it funny when people want to fight boredom!! I think boredom is something that we must enjoy, let it just be, rather than try to fight it!! After all, it is yet another emotion, a very potent one!! (If not anything else, it makes you write stuff like this blog post!! He he he…)
!! So…… guys!! Explore your boredom!! Make it the most exciting part of your life!! To me, it is definitely one of my exciting factors of life!!
So, here’s to exciting long hours of boredom….. and to all the wild and fabulous ideas that would spring out of it all !! cheers!! :)

My experiments with 'To-Do Lists'

Anybody who knows me would know that most notebooks that belong to me have a to-do list drawn out on some corner or the other!!! And for those of you who don’t know that, you can take it from me that most of my notebooks, small bits of papers would definitely carry a to-do list!! Now, how many of these tasks get completed, how well they are completed are completely irrelevant to this discussion and not within the scope of this piece of literature, because invariably finishing of last week’s to-do list becomes the first item on my to-do list for the current week!!(Infact, to write this article has been on my to-do for the past ten days I guess!!!)
So....this entire love with to-do lists started a couple of years ago, when I attended an inspiring lecture on time management. The resource person made it sound as though to-do lists are the one stop solution for managing time effectively! That lady made it sound so simple that I decided I am going to apply the idea of making to-do lists to my life! At this juncture, I must mention that both my appa and amma manage their time so fabulously well, and that further inspired me to perfect the art of time management!!
I got myself a nice small notebook and started my first ever to-do list! After a couple of months (of failure, despite good intention and attempt), I sat down to understand why I was failing! I decided that I needed to be reminded constantly about the tasks and hence decided to buy myself a white board, and mount it on the wall. I went to Landmark and got myself a small whiteboard and dedicated it to to-do lists!! I started using the board to make my lists!! After a couple of months, I realised this was not a great idea.. !! Because it was too small!!I used it more to make designs and cartoons than write out to-do lists!!Moreover,the white board needed to be cleaned regularly (at times, cleaning the whiteboard itself was a part of the to-do list!!)
This was when I decided I needed to think of creative tailor made solutions for this to work for me!! I came up with the brilliant (or so it seemed!) idea of classifying to-do lists! I decided I would draw out separate to-do lists for personal work, academics, separate list for exercise and health, separate to-do lists for entertainment and fun! I was so proud of my idea and I immediately got a proper notebook and decided to make separate to-do lists!
Over a period of time, my sorting skills were sharpened and I could sort out my tasks with ease! They beautifully fit into the various genres of to-do lists (the tasks however remained incomplete.....sigh!) I ordered a soft board for my room and started using board pins to pin up my to-do lists (to increase visibility)!
Now, this caught the attention of several people and many of them were very impressed and inspired by this idea (it remained a well kept secret that, this idea of to-do list was not producing desired results!! Tasks never got completed and the task of making these lists by itself was time consuming!!!)
Over the years, I have tried various techniques like, making to-do grids to sort tasks into ‘urgent, not urgent, important, unimportant etc. I have tried to give priority ranks to the tasks!! I could no longer restrict myself to a notebook or any white board –I target any piece of paper I can lay my hands on!!!!At this juncture, I must stop to admit that there have been times, when I have spent time searching for the paper that has my list written (most times I’d never find it, sometimes I would find it in my room, sometimes in my friend’s notebooks, or my amma would have used it to dispose onion peels!) There have been times (very rarely though) when I have sat with two or three genres of to do lists and tried collating it all into one mega to-do list !!!!
Over these two years, I have understood the dynamics of to-do lists! The first 30% of the tasks get completed (not necessarily on time, but they do see completion) , about 50% of tasks move on to the next to-do list and the residual tasks either never get completed , or become unimportant or become a part of somebody else’s to-do list! Sometimes, when I feel like being very true to my conscience, I feel like calling it to-do circles or to-do cycles and not list because it moves in cycles!! Other times, these lists remind of the story that my Patti (animatedly) tells us, about hanuman’s tail growing really long to coil up to match Ravana’s throne height!! (I really can’t help draw similarities you know!!)
One of my good friends raised a genuine question, that me being a pathologically spontaneous creature, why and how I manage to make such lists and organise life? I shot back a grin and admitted that making to do lists seemed more spontaneously possible than doing actual task!! End of the day, at least I am glad I planned and I have the space to hope that sometime soon these tasks will be completed!!
Well, my experiments with these to-do lists still continue! At some level, I enjoy making them though I know they really don’t work!! But having come this far, to figure out the best way to make the lists, I am hopeful that someday I will figure out how to get them to work for me, in terms of time management and task completion!
If anybody out there, has better ideas of to-do lists or knows how to make them work, just leave a note for me! I will get in touch with you, we can meet and I can get gyaan from you! I mean, I’ll add this task to my to-do list, and when it sees the light of the day-we’ll meet ;)