“To be or not to be”

“To be or not to be”
The (overdone!!) clichéd famous words of the good old Shakespeare!! It may be overdone or cliché, but at some level – it defines life in a nutshell. It defines the framework within which our lives work; It breaks boundaries and opens up our lives!! It truly does! I guess we spell like as L-I-F-E simply because it more convenient to spell, as compared to “Art-of-choice-making”!!! But, life deserves to be read as “art of choice making” because that’s all life is about!!
Anybody who is happy has a choice- to be or not to be happy! A teacher who punishes a student to death has a choice- to be or not to be heartless and insensible! I have a choice- to write or not to write this blog post now!!!!!!! Simply...anything and everything.... our friends, our relationships, the food we eat, the moods we exhibit, the phones we own, the tears we shed are all a matter of choice.
Well, what happens if we see everything as a choice? It jus creates a perspective shift where you just stop playing the blame-game that corrodes your being! If all situations are mere choices and you are here to just make your own choices then life is as simple as painting a colourful picture the way you want to paint it! You can decide what colours you want and how you want them on your canvas! If some things do go wrong as they will, then the choice is still yours to let it make or break you! So, it’s a win-win situation where nobody-you, people around you or your life situations are to be blamed!!
This is quite a fun thing to do... Assuming responsibility for your own life... being all dramatic and asking yourself at all points in time..... “To be or not to be”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The moment life choices are made out of love driven by passion and not out of fear or compulsion your life can’t help but explode to success!!!!
Well, having come this far I am presented with a choice - to conclude or not to conclude this blog post....!! I have chosen to conclude this post here..... and I will do just that(despite not being successful at finding a right concluding statement for this post) !!!!!!!!!!!

Social networking and me!!!!!!

The unhealthy craze and addiction to social networking sites is something that has always amused me. I do not exactly remember when this frenzy of ‘orkut-ting’ caught up with everybody! But, I have vivid memories of being at the receiving end of “Which-world-are-you-from” looks when I said I don’t have an orkut account. If I happened to confess that such things do not excite me and I am not ‘not orkutting’ due to parental pressure, people would stare at me like I were practicing and advocating strict celibacy!!! When I meet old friends or end up meeting cousins at a wedding, they ask me for my virtual id as if I cease to exist in front of them there!

I have a friend of mine, who genuinely feels terrible that he is unable to keep in touch with me, because I am not on orkut or facebook! (No!No! We do not live in different cities or countries!! We live ten minutes away from each other!! Just about the same time it takes to boot the computer, connect to the internet and open the world of orkut)

At a time when I was still unfamiliar about the social networking parlance, I overheard my friends talking about communities with a rare kind of interest and zeal. I was overwhelmed at the thought that these guys are discussing something sociological about communities and community development – that happiness didn’t last too long because in a matter of few seconds of my expression of happiness, everybody burst out laughing and eventually explained to me the existence of virtual communities and how involving they are!

For the past 4 years I have been fighting pressure to find my space in the air- to create a virtual existence for myself. If you ask me why, I would say......... maybe it comes out of a generic fear of adding one more dimension to my (already confused) identity and image of self!( Well, that’s something that sounds intellectual enough and people don’t bother to prod further!)

But if you do, then I might just admit that I do not have the patience to go through the process of creating it, reading messages, replying to them , hoping and praying that your id’s not hacked by some creepy guy who decided to crush on you and so it goes........!! If you prod me further, I may agree that time is what we make and not having patience is not strong enough a reason....
No! No! This absistence from social networking doesn’t rise from me being happy by myself. In fact, I am a people’s person and passionately believe in making and keeping friends for a lifetime!! (Any of my friends who at some point or the other been at the receiving end of my lectures about ‘keeping in touch’ would vouch for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

Well, heart of hearts I guess this abstinence from social networking sites comes out of my true love for people, and all your true alive selves! Any day I would rather see a beautiful smile curving from a warm heart than the smiley I see on the computer screen! Any day I would rather hear a wonderful voice that spells happiness, strength and cheer rather than see a few letters arranging themselves on screen conveying a message! I would rather see a pair of eyes becoming wide in excitement and a beautiful excited smile than seeing a bunch of exclamations that my brain registers as a sign of excitement!! May sound archaic but I would rather hear and see people around me living their lives, living their emotions, expressing their most extraordinary selves rather than see them through the messages or profiles hanging in the air!!!!!! After all, watching the IPL live is not the same as reading about it the next morning in the paper!! Watching a movie is just not the same as reading a review!

Social networking sites to me, seems like it reduces the thrill and excitement of an alive life to a mad scramble of letters (With a lot of typos because people are in a hurry to reply to a whole lot of other messages!!!!!!!!) To all you social networking maniacs- I do buy your arguments like this saves time and shrinks the world – but is that what we want? We save time by social networking to do what? To do more social networking?

Disclaimer Note:This is not some kind of text that is trying to convert you from a theist( a believer in social networking) to an atheist!!

Definitely not!! All I want to do is to gently remind all you networking kings and queens that there is a life beyond the social networking. There may be your grandmother who would love to take a walk with you and who would smile a smile that is hundred times brighter than the smiley on screen if you do take her for a walk! Try this! There is a life beyond social networking.....live that for a change......!!!!!!! In exchange I promise to get myself an identity in virtual space! From an atheist am moving to being an agnostic – going to find out of in truth there is a sense of keeping in touch through social networking... Let’s taste a bit of each other’s world... What say? After all...variety is the spice of life...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Face book...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here I come.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A disturbing irony...........

I picked up the newspaper early this morning and I did not feel like reading beyond the first page. The first two articles on the first page on The Hindu newspaper made me stop, to reflect on our system of democracy and justice. I can assure you, I am not one among those pessimists who believe that this country is good for nothing, neither am the kind who doesn’t believe in democracy. But, for a few minutes, I couldn’t help wondering if our ideals of democracy and justice are of any relevance at all!!
The front page today represented the extremes of the continuum of the system of democracy and reward, punishment systems that our country has. On the left is an article carrying news about Kasab, the lone surviving gunman in the Mumbai terror attacks and on the right is a news item about the young girl Shanno who died( who was killed rather!!) following corporal punishment at municipal school. At the face of it maybe these two news items do not have anything in common. But, looking deeper into both these issues, it represents an irony! A disturbing irony! To me, it seems to reflect a weak reward-punishment system!!! A terrorist who has been seen with the gun in his hands is being 'rewarded' the luxury of having trials, having lawyers to represent him(at the cost of Indian taxpayer’s money!!) and here is this girl who was 'punished' on the spot for a “crime” of not reciting alphabets properly. Why is it that time and again we wait for incidents like this to happen to wake up to the real need to strengthen fundamentals in the society. In what way can the teacher justify this act in a society that is giving somebody like kasab, a chance to justify his wrong doing? How can the teacher decide to punish in such a manner without imagining consequences? Is it lack of awareness about the need to abolish corporal punishments? Is it negligence? Display of power? Or is the blame going to be thrown again on lack of stringent laws or lack of implementation of laws?
At one end we have debates and discussions about free and fair trial and just punishment being given to the terrorist Kasab who is responsible for killing so many lives in the Mumbai terror attacks and on the other end we have this little girl who was punished to death for not reciting her alphabets properly!! To call this ironic seems an understatement! To me, this irony seems to raise a lot of thoughts like for instance, does our country work in such a manner that bigger the crimes you commit, the safer you are (because it takes a long time for you to be tried and presented to the court)? If this is the punishment for the child who has not learnt her alphabets, in other words not done her duty as a student, then what is the punishment and who will punish all those people out there whose negligence and lack of commitment has lead to such crimes ranging from corporal punishment to terrorism?

the "F" theory...

I genuinely believe all our lives are designed to work in a certain manner that revolves around fundamentals that are more or less the same for all of us! This may not be a great line to start a blog post, but it certainly is great line to start off a thinking process. I was thinking about this and I hit upon a very interesting observation which in future will be referred to as the

“F-theory”

revolving around two “F-factors”. In fact, the more I dwell in this the more I am convinced that this “F-factor” is a very fundamental and core for all our lives, purposes and action.
So, what exactly is the first “f” factor??!!
It is F.e.A.R!!

If we carefully study a lot of our actions (and inactions!!), a lot of happening around us or other people’s actions, it can be seen that it boils down to a certain fear. Starting from small issues like a lie, which is a fear to expose the truth to a suicide, which is nothing but a fear to live – fear seems a pivotal force in all our lives.
For all the brave hearts out there who are shaking their heads denying any trace of fear in their lives, Let me ask you, do you sing aloud every time you feel like it? Have you ever known what it is to dance like nobody is watching you? Have you ever walked up to the store and got yourself those pair of jeans that you really love, despite all your friends hating it? Gotcha!!
What holds you back?! Isn’t it the factor that takes control of those decisions? Fear of criticism, fear of being hurt or ridiculed, fear of standing out of the crowd, fear of failure, of being laughed at!! Remember all those small and big things that you have always wanted to do, but never got around to doing it? The only that that can or will stop you is the “f” factor!! Every such a thing, that remains a dream arises from this “f” factor- the fear of not wanting to stretch beyond the comfort zone that we belong to or the fear of doing something out of the ordinary!
Well how do we fight this fear? It is at this point that I must introduce the second “f” of the “f” theory, that is

“Facing the fear”!!

As simple as it sounds, jut face your fears! Start simple, but start strong! Does a roller coaster ride put the fear of god into you? Simply face it! This weekend, pack your bags, tag along a few friends and drive to a theme park and just do it- face your roller coaster ride!
Has your class eight math teacher been your biggest fear factor in your life then? (and is that why you hate math till today??!!) Well, blindly execute the second part of the “f” theory: just face your fear! Choose a nice day and drop in to your teacher’s place to spend an hour or two with her, thanking her for all that she has been to you( You have an added advantage that teachers have a way of being nice to alumni!! ;)!! ) face your fear (fearlessly)!
Does speaking on stage set the fear engine in you rolling? Grab the next opportunity to do public speaking (even if it is a boring vote of thanks at the end of a long lecture) and do your best: face your fears!
I bet on all that I own most of the times, at the end of the facing your fear session, you will catch yourself saying “it wasn’t that bad you know!!” because nothing truly is that bad! So, get started on your trip of facing fears!
Let me let you into a secret that this blog is my attempt to face my fear that I can’t do creative writing for nuts! Well, I am facing my fear and am enjoying doing it, believing that it’s not that bad after all!! :D
So, its time you too faced your fears! Let no fear ever hold you back! After all,
No man has ever lost anything by stretching his reins to their fullest possible length!!